Some of my good friends know that I frequent a website called FARK.com. It's nothing more than a news aggregator site. The MO of the site and it's proud members is primarily to lampoon the 24-hour news cycle and the schlock that has come to pass for new since its inception. Members submit "news" items found on other websites and create their own headline for it (sometimes funny, other times not), and then the discussions begin.
I don't know how many users there are, but I'm sure it's over 50,000. [citation needed]. Anyway, when you have this many people commenting on events and non-events, you really do get a taste of different perspectives. This site really honestly has made me consider my own views.
All this, but the beauty of the site is the funny stuff. I had something else in mind for today's post, but I read something on fark that made me laugh, and I just wanted to share it with you. Now, from what I can tell the person who wrote this is not making stuff up. He is speaking from experience. This is from a discussion thread about fireworks laws, posted by "Yetti"
Several things you should absolutely know about good fireworks activities.
1. If you're going to shoot rockets out of your mouth, hold your head parallel to the ground and cover the side of your face with your hand.
2. You CAN shoot mortar tubes off your thigh, stomach and head. If you use your head, you want your neck and spine to be straight. Kick's about as much as a 20 gauge. Think about the women of National Geographic who carry the bowls of water on the head and you're doing it right.
3. Bottle rockets out of the hand is fun, just wear some glasses.
4. Bottle rockets in your friends pockets are also fun.
5. Bic lighters suck, fingers get raw pretty quick. Torch, punk or kitchen lighter is the business.
6. Here's how to get the good deals on stuff. Walk into a fireworks store, ask to see the manager, tell them you are going shopping with your friend and need someone to push the third cart. Don't be afraid to ask for deals and freebies, especially if it's at least two weeks before the 4th.
7. Duct taping a mortar reload to a larger rocket is a good idea, but tough to time the wicks accordingly. If you must do it, cut the wicks off of a test reload, and test rocket, and time them. Then throw the still good testers in the bonfire. Ta da.
This is the kind of stuff just sitting on the internet waiting to make your life better. This guy has given us a glimpse into his wealth of knowledge, presumably for our own safety. The good citizenship this guy is displaying is what makes me proud to be an American.
If we can't share our "cheating-death-by-fireworks" stories on the internet, then the terrorists have truly won. I should also add that Yetti posted this while I was writing:
"8. I forgot to mention. Mortar rounds do not do much damage to billboards."
Not a lot of substance today. Sorry. Stick with me, the best is still ahead of us.
3 comments:
Well...there is no better way to celebrate the birth of our great nation than by blowing up a small chunk of it!!!
Where are you planning on being July 4th?...I'll plan to be far away from there.
9. Whatever you do, do not even joke about shooting bottle rockets at Conor Johnson. Definitely do not make him think you might have shot a bottle rocket at him, as he'll punch you in the face.
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